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How We Got Engaged

Tamer's Side of the Story...


Tamer and Melissa wrote their engagement stories from their own perspectives without reading each other's stories. Once you've read his story, you can read her story.


It’s so hard to think about where to begin this story. For me, the story of our engagement really begins long before that day on December 14th, 2002 when I proposed. It began with the moment that I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Melissa. At that point, I realized what seemed so cliché until then: you just know when you’ve found the one.

All of the sudden, finding that special someone became the “easy” part – now the tables turned to the question of how I was going to go about asking this amazing person to spend the rest of her life with me. I could write for pages about the emotions and thoughts that I went through to come up with the right custom ring design, or about discussing the prospect of their first daughter-in-law with my parents, or with asking for her parents’ blessing, or any of the little aspects that all took place before the morning of the proposal. But, since I’ll be lucky to keep your attention through the details of just the engagement, I’ll try to focus on just that part of this story.

I decided that the element of surprise would be best if I caught Melissa immediately when she arrived to town. I woke up early on the morning of December 14th after a few short hours of sleep. I had been awake most of the night preparing things for the proposal. To say that I had slept at all would be generous. My mind spent the night sorting through words and thoughts to try to find the best order for them.

Next, I had my errands to the florist and balloon store that needed to be completed. Those stores couldn’t open early enough that morning. Melissa’s flight was scheduled to arrive at 10:30 and I had plenty to do before picking her up. So, imagine my surprise when I checked her flight status only to discover that she’d be in at 10! I needed someone’s helping hand and I was going to need it quickly!

To make things harder, I had only discussed this proposal with a few people, so my options of people to call were fairly limited. I called my good friend Shahira – not only did I know that she’d come to my rescue, but I felt like she’d be a great person to help calm my nerves with her company. She gladly came to my assistance and met me at my house at precisely the same moment that Melissa called to tell me that her flight had arrived. Gee, no pressure there!

Shahira and I worked feverishly to get things decorated. I couldn’t leave Melissa waiting much longer, so Shahira suggested that I head to the airport and she’d take care of finishing things up and getting the candles lit. She even agreed to wait a bit before lighting the candles and leaving so that I wouldn’t have to worry about leaving all that fire unattended.

I finally arrived at the airport at about 10:45am. If her flight hadn’t been so early, I would’ve been right on time – but in this situation, Melissa had been waiting for over half an hour. Both nervous and apologetic, I welcomed Melissa home and was glad to see that the delay didn’t seem to effect her excitement of being home.

Since Melissa started her day pretty early, I knew she wanted to just take it easy for the day. However, I had other plans! I told her that I made a CD for her to welcome her home for her one month stay. She probably thought it was some kind of mix CD, but as I started playing it, she heard my recorded voice and immediately knew it was something different. The CD began…

Today’s journey begins at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport… This has been our point of departure or arrival for a number of our adventures during our travels and has delivered us to each coast.

I explained on the CD that we would be taking a short detour while on our way to the morning’s destination. To add to the mystery of the drive, I thought it’d be fun to add some ground rules for her to adhere to. On the CD, I explained those simple rules:

  1. At this time, please turn off your telephone or any other electronic device that may interfere with your ability to focus your attention on this trip.
  2. Please refrain from speaking to the driver until this recording instructs you to do otherwise – only non-verbal interaction is permitted at this point.
  3. As we travel to each of this morning’s destinations (we will be making a few short stops), I will play some interlude music – please do not take this as an opportunity to forget these rules.
  4. Relax and enjoy the experience.

For about the next hour, I drove us to several different places that have sentimental value to us. This driving tour began in the Bennigan’s parking lot where we first met and concluded in my home’s driveway. As we drove from place to place, I played songs with special meaning to us. At each stopping point, my tired, nervous voice spoke about the importance of that location and its meaning in our relationship.

Lucky for me, Melissa seemed to be enjoying this trip and did a great job of following the ground rules I had laid out. Meanwhile, my mind was racing… “Does she know what I’m up to?” “What am I going to say?” “What if my house is on fire from all those lit and unattended candles??”

We arrived at my house and I played the final track…

This brings us to the end of our detour. Thank you for your patience. I have not forgotten your agenda for today… we will be able to begin it shortly. Please leave all belongings in the car and follow me indoors. In a moment, I will be asking for your reaction to this little trip down memory lane. Sorry for any inconvenience this delay has caused you.

Conveniently, opening the door from my garage covers up the view of the stairwell down to the basement. So, I managed to lead her inside and take her jacket without her catching a glimpse down the stairs. I walked her down the candlelit stairway to the basement. Gerbera daisies, Melissa’s favorite flower, decorated each step. At the base of the steps she could see the 25 candles floating in their votives adorned with more daisies and a sky of pearl white and silver metallic helium balloons hugging the ceiling.

(Melissa still tells me that even up to this point she had no idea what I was up to. She says she was still just thinking I was giving her a romantic welcome-home.)

I sat her down on the couch facing the TV that was showing a photo slide show of some of our fun moments while playing some more sentimental music.

We sat and chatted for a bit and I let the conversation come to a natural end... It was perfect! We had made it this far and she still didn’t know what I was up to. Now, on one knee, I then offered to give back her cell phone. Even though she told me she didn’t need it, my hand was already in my jacket pocket – since that’s also where I had the ring box.

I’m not sure that anyone will ever know exactly what was said at that point since neither of us can quite remember. All I remember is that I managed to say a few things that ended with,

I want us to stop talking about “if” we’ll spend our lives together and start talking about “when.” Melissa, will you marry me?

In the midst of all her tears and excitement, she accepted and mauled me with kisses and hugs. At that point, I hadn't even had a chance to get the ring on her finger. Once she finally let go of me, I went to get the ring and had lost it somewhere in the darkness of the basement and my black jacket... We finally found it and I slid it on her finger...